If you could see the thoughts that's in my head, I'm tripping !

UGHH. Lol, moan. JKAAY, I ain't like that -___-
Anyways, GAH. I feel so stressed right now ! Like, since yesterday I've been having so many second thoughts. &Then today it's like...All on my shoulders. I feel like I'm gonna blow up. Not only I'm still sick, but my asthma's coming back, it's allergy season, and all this stress ! At school, it may not seeem like it, but I just wanna break down and cry sometimes.

He told him off. Wow.

FRICKEN MR. ASKANAS, AHA. I wasn't focusing in PE, so he called my name out. Ah,whatever. I don't want him watching me tho -__-

ALFORJA. I'm gonna stop for her. She made me promise, but whatever. I'M A GOOD FRREAKING FRIEND. Yeah, I'm kinda disappointed, but bestfriends come before anything right ?

Okays, as of this moment I'm gonna let it ALLL out. I don't care if anyone notices who I'm talking about. I need to let it out. &maybe typing it out will help me realize what I should do. I don't feel like talking about it with people. For sure, I have friends I can trust, but if there's anyone, I wanna talk to someone who understands because they've been in the situation..

I'm a person who thinks that if a friend likes somebody, you back the hell off. If they stop liking the person it's okay. But what if the friend says they stop, but start again ? Then you BOTH like the person. Hard huh ? Okay, but what if you're the person they like ? Yup, that's kinda what I'm going through. I feel like I've ruined their relationship. &Get this straight. I'M NO SLUT. I don't like making people feel bad. I swear, I could be one of the biggest bitches ever if I wanted to. I mean, I have it all in me ! But I just choose not too. SIGHSIGHISGH.

HRM, idk who I'm starting to have feelings for now. At first I thought I've got my mind set right ? &All these other guys, they liked me &I wouldn't care. I feel kinda stupid by saying all this cos, I'll admit it, I'm young ! Idk what reeal love is. But I still experience " young love ". &Now I feel so stuck. Yesterday I thought I would have nothing to do with him anymore. Then he goes and compliments me and acts all nice, like how we used to be before. &he seems nice and stuff, but there's so many reasons why I shouldn't. People say not too, and yadadadaa. Then HE joins in as another reason. UGH. Then on the way to 4th, another reason comes in. So many things flying in at me, and idk where to go. I just want to be able to set my mind on one thing, without worrying about the negatives. But with this issue, so many things. You would think I would get the message right ? WRONG. Because iderno who to believe. Who to turn to. They both seem nice, and like I feel so bad actually narrowing it down. I can't like three people, that ho-ish. One is out cos of Alforja. Then that leaves two. You would think I would go for who seems nicer right ? I when I say " go for ", I don't mean sexually. I just... Like... I mean to focus my feelings on. I'm to young for love, but I can still have crushes right ? But I don't wanna sounds like a loser saying " Oh my gosh I can't choose who !? ". But that's how it is. People would want me to choose him obviously. OTHERS want me to choose neither. I'm feel so stuck. I feel so stupid too. This huge guilt train is following me everywhere. I can't seem to find a genuine reason to smile. I'm soooo lost. I don't want to sound like a girl who's 13, acting like a wannbee 25 year old. But I'm so confused. I can't even describe it. &I'm not blowing it way out of proportion, I'm just venting. I need to set it all out.

AH FUCK. Ten minute bell.. I guess I'll end it here. Not such a good day huh ? Yeah, I figured out it would be like this in the morning -___- I still have more to say. I always do. But I don't have to time to say it all here. At least I got some of it out..