It's a fucked up world, I'm a fucked up person.

ugh, hella stressed right now ):

I hate my grandpa, seriously. I want to tell him off soooo bad. But I can't. Why? Cos he's my grandpa. mygood. he's soo nasty and selfish and shit. &I'm getting sick and tired of him telling me to rest. it's like, wtf, I'm not five, I'm old enough to take some fucking responsibility. I was all washing the dishes right, and he comes and says, let me do it! &I was like, no it's okay, i'm almost done. &he goes NO, you take a rest! and i soaped everything already, just needed to rinse it, &he washes everything all over again. that's hella insulting to me. I mean, yeah I'm lazy, but i can do chores. &like, everytime I have a chore to do, he does it for me. most people would love that. but serisouly, I DON'T NEED YOUR HELP. Like, sure, i appreciate it, but if i needed help, i would ask? don't think anyone would understand me on that subject -__- You know what else I hate. He teases me. In an annoying way. Not like, how family teases. but in a jacked up way. it pisses me off so much. like i say something or do something loud, &he does it like 10 times worse. over exaggerates everything. &not just me, all of my family. he doesn't understand that it's not funny. you might say, calm down he's just messing with you and shit, but YOU DON'T LIVE WITH HIM. I have alot more ugly stuff to say, but i'm too pissed off to type about it all.

I hate when people go to the worst case scenario. really. &do I seem like a person who doesn't care? I care about all my friends, alot. I'm just that kind of person. &for someone to ask if i even care about them, when i'm trying to make them feel better, that's sad. I'm hella hurt right now. I don't wanna type about this. but I can't talk to anyone about it. I mean, have friends to talk to yeah, but not about this. well maybe I do, but I don't feel like it. There's no one that can just listen. just listen. That's what most people want, imo. they just need to let it all out &yeah. I can't. So, I blog. how pathetic huh. I should go curl up in a ball and cry. tsh, I can't even do that. no where to go..

Why do you take all my comments in such a negative way? I don't wanna tell you stuff, cos you take it so hard. you know who you are.

i was standing at my balcony last night, &it was so calm and quiet. eeh.

it's the 4th of July. I really want to watch fireworks. I haven't in like two years ); I wanna cry right now. If I see some, that will seriously make me soooo goddammnn happy.

well, gunna listen to some music. maybe play with my dog, or my sister. I think that's they're only thing that can cheer me up right now.