FUCK.THIS.SHIT.

i hate it. i hate everything.
i hate those silent conversations.
i hate feeling so guilty, when i know i didn't do anything.
i hate having to say it's okay over and over.
i hate having to keep everything.
i hate not being able to talk about it.
i hate crying or at least feeling like it once everyday.
i hate saying i'm happy, and you don't believe me.
i hate sounding depressed, when i'm just frustrated.
i hate being frustrated.
i hate being lost and confused.
i hate actually thinking about that.
i hate talking about that.
i hate the fact that everything i thought would fersure never happen, is happening.
i hate that i keep listening to those kinds of songs.
i hate how it sounds like it going to happen, but i don't want it too.
i hate how it seems so different.
i hate how it's so depressing and maybe an hour later we're okay.
i hate how i know the old ways are still there, but we just barely see them.
i hate remembering " we can make it through anything "
i hate how i don't smile that much.
i hate that it's getting worse.
i hate that there's nothing i can do.
i hate doubting myself.
i hate that i have to think about what i say.
i hate how we could talk about anything, but the conversations are always about one thing..
i hate how i'm always the bad guy.
i hate that it's falling apart.
i hate thinking about our promises and worrying about them.
i hate reminiscing, because i miss those so much.
i hate not being able to talk in person.
i hate summer.
i hate how long this list is getting.
i hate when you're happy, and i saw unconsciously say something wrong &make you feel bad.
i hate how it seemed so perfect, and now i don't know..
i hate how i want to hold on for so many reasons, but everyday i loose faith.
i hate how the main reason isn't the best reason.
i hate typing this.
i hate feeling like i made so many mistakes, and i don't realize it until now.
i hate that i don't know what happened.
i hate myself.

^incomplete.
NOTEVENHALFOFMYMINDRIGHTNOW!



I don't want it to end. No, not at all. I'm scared. I'm fucking serious. It's not over.